Friday, May 16, 2008

It's between X and Y

X : why did you try that?
Y : Don't know.(more stubbornly)
X : what do you meanby you dont know..
i know you are the only person responsible for it.
Y : so.. what do you want me to do now..
you want to punish me.
X : no..i want you to tell me why did you do that.
(Y sheds a wistful smile..)
X : what does that mean?.
Y : it means that i dont like to..
it means that i dont believe you..
it means all my hatred of things.
X : calm down,man..dont try to sound like
you had done nothing wrong..
Y : hey what did i do..(with a pinch of surprise).
X : what did i do then.
Y : shut up..never say that to me..
you screwed up all my things..
X : come on,my loser..this isnt fair..
dont curse me with the blames..
you can blame yourself instead blaming me,
that would be more appropriate..
(after a little span of the anger
slowly starts to die out for y while the feeling
of guilty and the longing for love try
to occupy his mind.)
Y : yes i did that to myself.
X : why?
Y : i dont know really..every now and then
i lose myself in an inarticulate sounds of panic
Which drives me to the hell.
X : what is that that worries you so much.
Y : not one.there are many such.
X : why dont you share all those with me.
Y : i dont feel like sharing it to anyone..becoz
people dont understand people.
To be precise most of them cant.
X : do you think i willnot understand you?.
(a voice drenched in love and pity)
Y : yes,my Lord,i dont have energy to believe
anything more.
X : why?
Y : becoz i believed so many things in my life.
i could never differentiate good and the bad,
they seem to be the same most of the times.
(after a little pause)
Y : i dont get why doesnt a bad thing look like
what it has to look like.At the sametime
why doesnt a good thing get its visibility
what it has to. Its always the few darker spots
which attract and draw my attention quickly
than the white ones. Though I work hard
to keep myself away from them they keep
coming at me. If something is bad why it has
got all the attracting and deceiving allure.
it does seem like living is a curse.
X : living is not a curse ,it is a gift not
only for humans but for all living things.
Y : i do believe things would be finer tomorrow
but that much-awaited dawn never
arrives. i find my life going tough.
i fear that eventually i would get
swallowed by the painful failures.
X : so you mean that you fall down often
and that hurts you.
Y : no..its still worse my dear.i fall down
when i try to recover from the one.
X : why shouldnt you believe the failures?.
Y : how could one believe a failure when
it is dreadful and sore.a failure is just a failure ,
there is no replacement for it.
X : but one thing people dont understand is that
'a failure speaks more truth than a victory'.
Failure prevails everywhere in the world,
right from a little girl who cries for her
melted down icecream to the old man who
grieves on his wife's death.they do gain
something from it and move forward in the life.
Y : probably yes they do,but i find it difficult.
how could an engine run without fuel.
i am drained out of energy,my love.
X : come on young man.dont lose your belief.
Belief means a lot more than what it seems
like.Believe that failures would vanish
Y : yes it will..but how can i explain you that
today's pain is unbearable.
X : i know, it is very hard to bear but that is
how a good man is born out of his own characters.
Dont you know that 'Fighting is the best attitude
one has to possess ever in his life time'.
Y : yes i do know it..but i fear to fight in a
losing side.
X : Nobody is going to lose any thing,my dear.
you have to understand that this is the time
you can see your real self.All the great
fighters of the world were born out only
when they had to test their own strength
and courage.I know you are one of the them.
so the best way of living in this world is to
accept the truth and fight it regardless of
how bitter and cruel the truth tastes.THE SUN
might be scorching and severe but we have to love it
because it reflects the truth..
(now the feeling of pride and belief overwhelms Y
giving him the much needed hope to live..)
X : please believe me,dear,i am there always with you..
Yes X (scruple) could go nowhere away from Y
else they couldnt form XY to create a man.
This is one of the conversation that breaks out
between a common man's X and Y when
he searches for a whiff of fresh air to breath out
as his unending failures smother him and let him
escape through no corner,eventually making him
to fail in everything even in throwing away his own life.

Monday, May 12, 2008

it's DARK

Yes it is completely dark in the no-moon night as
it is two hours past the sunset and the grandeur
of lightlessness characterised everypart of the
surroundings. There is a great speciality with
darkness,unlike the light,it does not reflect or
expose itself differently with the nature of the
objects it falls on.It has only one language for all
ie) darkening. You can be rich,powerful,beautiful
but nothing could seduce the darkness, eventually
you become physically nil.
with one such powerful and determinant
blackness deluging the night, these two
beautiful mortals begin to talk as they ever do.
But it's more special tonight as it is totally dark
with the absence of stars and moonlight.
HE : ohhhh beloved,could you see the darkness.
(says a sharp and powerful voice drenched in
the scent of care and love)
SHE : yesssss.
(says a cute voice yet in a tired tone.)
HE : how big it is?
SHE : It's sooooo large.i couldnt quantify it as
i ever see it. maybe as big as it can be.
HE : that big is my love towards you,dear.
(suddenly she laughs with the joy because she
never expected such an elucidating answer which
seems too close to her heart.)
HE : do you get it? darling.
SHE : yess dad i am getting it.
(she acknowledges with a little smile in her face
and a bigger one in her heart..)
HE : you tell me, how much you love me?
(She thinks for a jiffy and then kisses him on
his gaunt cheek.)
SHE : how sweet is this?,darling.
(she says it as tricky as it ever can be.)
HE : dear.i am pitifully defeated and
you win hands down asusual.
(she giggles childishly.there is nothing in the
world that could match the beauty of her smile..
It has all the magics bound with it.HE just
loves it not just now but forever,the one and
only thing he wants in this vicious world.)
HE : ok,now it's time.does Clara have anything
to ask her daddy today.
(she remains silent.)
HE : yes. no. it's strange to see my little daughter
keeping her mouth tight-lipped.
(yes it's strange to him, no no,to be true it's very
difficult for him.Yes people do feel difficult when
THE ONE they love the most dont talk to them,
especially when they have to or when they are
expected to.It's always she who nags and queries
him with the one picked from her own world of
questions. Mostly the questions would be either
funny or too difficult to explain to a little soul,
but he never tries to evade from it, somehow he
tries and puts it in such a way that she gets
convinced with it finally. but today unusually
she remains silent.)
HE : ohh God, what a surprise, all of a sudden
you made my little daughter dumb.
how could that be possible?. i think you and
my sweety try to play a trick on me.
SHE : Dadddd
(she whines.)
SHE : then tell me,what happened in the
school today?
(he feels her trying hard to keep her mouth
shut. though not good,it is always a beautiful
sight to see the expressive face of a little kid
evincing the anger with her lips pouting out
of annoyance and her hands rubbing the eyes
demanding it to get deluged with the
deceiving tears.but here he misses it in the
complete lightlessness.)
HE : if you dont talk to DAD whoelse will
talk to me,Darling. comeon open your mouth.
SHE : she only said that.
(she says with a grumbling voice..)
HE : said what?
SHE : that i am not intelligent.
(Instead laughing at the unworldliness of
her daughter, he tries to be more thoughtful
because he knows that it does mean a lot to
her as she always wants to be a pretty and
witty girl,moreover that's how he has always
wished her to be.)
HE : who said that? tell me what exactly
happened in the school today.
(then she begins telling it bit irritatingly.
she has different ways of telling things to
different people. It's more tricky towards
her friends and more clever towards
her teachers but always truth and exactitude
towards her father because she expected
only love from him but none.)
SHE : asusual she began to tell the story
in the morning. she said 'there was
a little boy with his ugly looks'. then i
questioned her 'what do you mean by ugly?'.
she remained silent for few seconds and
then retorted as 'probably you cannot
understand it'.i asked her 'why?' but she
replied angrily 'because you are too little and
not intelligent enough'.
(a little silence.he does find very hard to
excuse the teacher as he feels the teacher
quite evasive and incapable to deal
with things.)
SHE : is she right dad. am i not intelligent?.
will i not understand things.
HE : no are the most intelligent
girl i have ever seen on this earth.but she is
partly correct. yes nobody could
understand the word 'ugly', because
the word literally doesnt exist in the world.
SHE : i dont understand dad.
(that voice with the tone of discouragement
does him something and makes him
desperate to make her clear.)
HE : actually there is nothing like ugly
in the world. Instead good people use
a different word called 'DIFFERENT'.
Everything is simply different not ugly.
It's all about you like it or dont like it.
supposedly if somebody comes and
tells you that 'your daddy is bad,ugly
and certainly nobody would love him.',
will you accept it?
SHE : no.
HE : why.
SHE : because i love my daddy so much
and he loves me too.
HE : and that is how things work out.
you love your daddy, you feel him good
and lovely. They don't like your daddy,
they find him bad and ugly.
SHE : but then why do they hate my daddy.
HE : probably because they dont
understand him.
SHE : if i could understand my dad,
why cant they?.
(This is really tough for him to encounter
as he is not prepared for this be true
even he doesnt know the answer but
somehow he wants to finish it
in positive note.)
HE : Because it's dark everywhere my dear,
people find difficult to grope the reality of
the life in the damn naked darkness.But you
have a great magic to find and feel
the truths of life very easily. you can
understand people because you only
feel them. And that very element of
understanding humans better is
the pinnacle of intelligence,
the point of better civilization,etc.
We have been learning a lot over
the years only to understand people
better and to find the real facts out of
this fancy world. that's why i told you
that you are the most intelligent girl
of the earth.
HE : are you getting it?
SHE : yess.Dad
HE : so tomorrow you go and tell
your teacher that you are intelligent
enough to understand things better.
and dont forget to tell it with
all pride and joy.
(Though she couldnt comprehend
everything he said, she enjoys herself
winning the intelligent contest over
her teacher.)
HE : Clara. shall we have dinner as
it's getting late and you have to sleep.
SHE : ok dad.
HE : wait a minute,darling.i go light up
the candle.
be there where you are.
SHE : so you didnt do it before..why?
HE : i just want to feel the darkness which
my sweetheart feels forever.

Now the whole gamut of darkness fails to a
small lit candle like the entire world of truth
being challenged by few fake vices,
exposing two faces, one little cute and glowing,
the other gaunt and severely burnt in
a freaky fire accident.