Sunday, May 2, 2010

Reaching out

One more conversation between two people, obviously He and She
He : Hai
She : Hello
(with a customary smile)
He : You are Pooja, right?
She : Yes
He : how is your work?
She : fine
He : You speak Tamil?
She : Yes
(with a tinge of annoyance)
He : I had guessed it.
(much like a string of random words out of an unquiet mind)
She : ohh
(an unwilling acknowledgement)
(a little gap,may be two or three seconds,yet it begs to get
He : will You talk with me for few minutes?
(The moment he said the last word, the Elevator had come to
the ground floor.)
She : what do You want?
(bit quizzically stepping out of the elevator)
He : I want to talk to You
She : about
He : me
She : I don't understand
He : You will, spare me few of your minutes.
(She feels she should have rejected it with a polite No,but
gives him a kind smile.)
He : You walk this way to Your PG, right?
She : Yes
(They slowly start to walk onto a cobbled platform beautified
with lights reflecting on the clouds of puddles.)

He : Have You seen me before on the floor?
She : maybe once or twice, but haven't really noticed You
He : actually I am not that familiar
She : ohh
He : but I have seen You many times....willingly
(She feels uneasy smelling the odour of his subject.)

He : The first few times I saw You, I hardly acknowledged You
though you were good looking
(She cuts in)

She : excuse me, I think I have to go fast.
He :
I am sorry, I didn't want to trouble You, just wanted to
share what I felt
She : I don't know, maybe you are disturbing me
He :
no, I just came to tell you that I was so misfortunate to
get disturbed
(She looks puzzled though hesitant to give attention)
He : I am attracted that You speak Tamil
She :
(showing a bit of interest)
He : because I thought you were a North Indian
She : I am, but my father is a Tamilian
He : ohh, nevertheless You speak like a native speaker
She :
we do speak in Tamil at home; I am always comfortable
speaking it
He :
of course, One would be comfortable in a language one
speaks at home
She : yes
He :
even I would always prefer to talk in my mother tongue but
not now
She : why?
He : because I fear I might blabber
She : about?
He : about many things,about me,about my likings and dislikes,
about You too
She : You like me?
He : what do You mean?
She :
I don't know,what would I think if an unknown person comes
up and talks like this?
He : yes, maybe I like You, would that make You uncomfortable utterly?
She : not exactly, as long as it doesn't get into my personal domain
He : so You are going to be critical in finding out my intention
She : may not be critical, but yes more careful
He :
good, an year and half ago, I saw a girl and felt she was
attractive, so I intently tried to reach out to her but she turned
me down
(She doesn't reply, not that he expects any)

He :
I only asked her how She was, from next time onwards she
tried to avoid my presence;
(He laughs wryly)

She : Girls always find a sense of insecurity with unknown people
He :
do you feel it now?
(She stops walking, so does he)
She : Yes, I do
He : then leave, I am not compelling You to talk to me
(She looks at his face, finds him genuine;her mind warns her to
leave, but she doesn't move away)
She : perhaps, You can be more clear in what You want
He : sorry, I don't get You
She : I mean if You like me, if You find me attractive, then
I don't think so I would be comfortable with You approaching me

He : but I am not approaching You, I am just trying to reach out
She : why?
He :
to make myself more free mentally,so that next time when
I happen to see You I would give You a gentle smile instead
trying to hide myself within me;
She : why is it so?
He :because I thought You were good looking, but I do see so
many good looking people around me; then the other day,
I heard You speaking in Tamil with someone else, that
unexpected sense of beauty brought me a thread of attraction,
just like a feather caressing a sore wound on the face accidentally
She : so?
He :
nothing, one finds many things attractive in life; these night
lights are attractive, those fresh leaves with a drop of rain water at its
cusp are attractive;It is just that we have to understand it more naturally;
it is important that we are not impulsive in reaction

She : You are not clear
He : Yes, I am not, of course, these night lights seem different from
a girl; A beautiful girl attracts many men like me;one has to get rid of
it quickly, after all this is just a fabric of attraction;how could he do it?
what is wrong in trying to talk to someone he likes?
he knows he does no harm to people intentionally;
She : but still the girl feels insecure
He :
I agree, not every man is same, She runs a risk for men may
take undue advantage; but as a being of refined intelligence,
shouldn't one try not to upset the good people?
She : but the girl has her own world, she has preferences and dislikes,
You cannot simply jump into her personal space asking her to be
frank with everyone
He : Okay, I understand, so what is the solution?
She : what is the problem,firstly?
He :
There is no problem, but there is a lonely question
She : what?
He : Everyman has expectations, desires, pains,things to achieve
and finally the hopes of better future, so he goes about pursuing it
in his life; All of a sudden, if a fine thread of distraction, not big like
a tempest, but like a slow cool breeze flows in his life of desert,
wouldn't he be tranquilized for that moment? In such disturbance,
is it wrong that he longs for people's understanding?
She : how should they understand him?
He : Like how You do now giving me a small space to open up;
maybe a simple exchange of true words would help;You might
not like the person or You might already be in a relationship with
someone, it doesn't matter to share your patience for few minutes;
after all he just wants to share his thoughts;it might let the
transience of the attraction dawn on him.
These night lights attract me, I wink at them playfully;
These water droplets at the cusp of the leaves excite me,
I touch them joyfully; A girl attracts me,
shouldn't I atleast talk to her?
(a gap replete of silence fills out)
He : do You find me little weird?
She :
I don't know
He : You see, You are a good person, more than an attractive person
(she gives an empty smile)
He : ha, we have reached your PG, You can feel secure now,bye
She :
(with a tone expressing the disturbed mind.)
He : ohh sorry, I have forgotten
(She stops and turns back)
He :
it was nice talking to You;
thanks for your time
She : no problem
(She starts to walk slowly lost in thoughts..)