Friday, December 14, 2007
This is my third blog but only now I have got the real reason for why a blog has to be written by me..I was wrong in my perception when I wrote the previous blogs..I wrote the first one because there was an urge in my mind to make my love known to few people..moreover selfishly I eyed at the possibility of SHE looking into it..then I was moved by its response , so I have had myself to write the next one but not for the reason I was really searching for..I didnt get the same kind of response this time..it might have lacked many things..one of my friend(vaai) said it wasnt entertaining..I too didnt get any kind of satisfaction..so I stopped writing blogs..
I didnt know on what motive(real) I have to write a blog except for I believe it will improve my writing skills in english..even I didnt know whether I am scripting it for mysake or for others..if I write it for others it has to be appealing for them..so in what way I can make it more appealing..I fear that voluntarily adding exciting stuffs will deteriorate or misinterpret my real
idea..moreover what entertaining to me maynot be for others..so obviously my blog means more to me than what it matters to others..then how it matters to me a lot..
according to me there are two forms of existence for any idea..one is the form which exists in my mind as thoughts after I perceive it.. the other form is the one which is stronger and the real form which gets its existence when I share it to others.. actually this was told to me by my friend(SURSH) on a fine day but I didnt feel it that day , but now I start to realise it in everycase.. so when I write a blog I give the real form to my idea.. my blog speaks lot more to me and strongly implants the idea in my mind.. but this too happens only when I convey what I really perceive in my mind..it means that a blog is worthwhile only when it speaks what it has to speak.. so hereafter I will script my blogs with core ideas without worrying about the reader's entertainment..
Monday, September 17, 2007
The other day i was happened to see few transgenders standing next to me in the bus-stop..i know they are no different from me..even then their presence brought out the defensive in me..i couldnt put up my face to theirs..i have read about them , i could understand their emotions to some extent but still i couldnt be normal with their presence..this incident apparently showed me how impotent i am in my mindset..i have had it strongly on my conscience.. is this because of the society i have been brought up in..if yes , arent we making the society...they are unhappy not because who they are biologically but because we treat them as outcasts...it is still worst in the next case..
whenever i (men) see a girl who i dont know walking on the street or standing nearby ...i have a thought popped up in my innermind making me recognize myself more as a male than as a humanbeing..this element (AAMBALANGIRA THIMURU) lets me to think about her differently sometimes in wrong sense..is it not a kind of male chauvinism...why couldnt we look at a girl more as a person rather than as someone of opposite sex...though we term this as nature..i fail here as a person..are we(men) not overdoing the privilege of being male..i presume this is why we find difficulty in understanding their tribulations..sometimes this primal failure leading to many social outrages against women..
'superiority',i capitulate to this word very often..like most of us i do seek superiority in whatever things i involve..right from the childhood this superiority complex dominates me..i dont know from where it gets seeded in my mind..sometimes it engulfs all my good shelves projecting me as a bad person to this society..we expect each our activity to be recognised by someone..for example i write this blog to be read and recognised by many..is this kind of expectation leading myself wrongly to somewhere ..i dont know whether i am trying to succeed this superiority complex to make myself more superior..
(these failures keep coming at me..i know these are all not somethings i should disappear into ...but then simply giving my thoughts over these...thank u ...please throw ur comments)
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Like every man ,I too have both masculinity and femininity inside me . .Both masculinity and femininity are intangible feelings,they can only be felt within..From childhood I couldnt sense my femininity part until I see HER..since i saw her I started to feel it slowly inside me realising the completeness of a man.maybe this is the kind of new thing every male gets from his girl..This element which made me love myself more and feel the completeness mentally makes this LOVE better and different from the one my mother or sister shows towards me..In this aspect transgenders are special , they could feel both the things themself..they dont need somebody else to make them realise it.painfully this extrathing let them be socially outcasts.
I dont know whether we can quantify love or not , i suppose no. but in case of unrequitted love ,the intensity is high because the amount of pain it causes intensifies the love more..in my case SHE doesnt talk to me,but kept me always brood over her thoughts..That pains me a lot letting my love grow more..to cite an exemplar , the amount of pain a woman undergoes during pregnancy both mentally and physically makes her love towards the child more intense.
The word LOVE is derived from the latin word OVUM...so love starts when an ovum is fertilized by a sperm..obviously everybody is loved by one or more others...even the worst person in the world is loved by his mother..so its important to love someone truly rather than expecting someone to love u..my love helps me to understand myself and makes me more humane towards others..it has brought only good things out of me not vices..i have realised the same in my friends (KICHA, SURESH) love too.. i love HER , she loves somebody else , both love are beautiful,because love is beautiful..i try to respect both the love..it doesnt matter whether ur love is requitted or not , how truly u r to ur love matters a lot..thank u..
(this is only my part of conception about love..u can throw ur comments...)