Tuesday, April 29, 2008

an act of knitting

It's late in the night around 1'o clock when the moonlight

tries hard to penetrate the gently waving curtains which

is hanging across the transparent window. Nobody knows

why does the moonlight struggle that hard to get into

the room try passing through the curtains, maybe

because fighting its prime enemy(darkness) is the

very nature of it. however it gives a pleasant dimlight

to that little room. The room is almost drenched in the

silence except the sound of the rotating fan,even that

seems to have turned melodic and rhythmic in its

nature for the sake of the two old souls sleeping in the

bed placed right below the hanging fan.

Though the bed is not convincingly enough for

two people, they have always managed to share it,

not because they have to,simply because they love to.

also it's not their bed alone but their entire lifes for

each other except a single thing like the narrow gap

which parts their bod as they lie one at the each side

of the bed letting their backs to face each other,but
that has destined to face its dead-end as they get closer


Yes,SHE couldnt hide it anymore as she starts to weep

bit loudly so that it beats the sound of the rotating fan

and gets its identity audible enough. on hearing it herself

she closed her mouth tightly with her hands worrying

that it might disturb her beloved husband who is well

asleep and perhaps let him know the thing which

she tries hard to hide from him forever.whatelse she

could do when she loves her husband so much.

The thing she never had answer for is bugging her

a lot this night than ever before.

"GOD what kind of a feeling is this?..please let me

sleep tonight peacefully.." she prays to THE ALMIGHTY

unable to comprehend her own sorrow completely.

Even the most cruel man in the world wouldnt remain

hard-hearted ,seeing such an old lady (at her early sixties) crying.

But her tears have the mighty power to destroy the entire world.

Suddenly she feels something easing her emotions as

she recognises a hand moving over her head smoothly and soothingly.

"Dont cry my dear.." the voice of her beloved which let her cry louder now.

"come on,i know everything..",he says it to make her not to strain more.

Now she plunges and puts her head onto his chest searching for the comfort.

HE - "dont worry my dear..such thing happens.there is nothing you could have done."

"i am extremely sorry..i think i shouldnt have cried.."-SHE says

overwhelmed by the feeling of guilty.

HE - "i dont mean that..you can cry but i cant bare seeing

my wife crying..how could an old man let his old woman

cry in this pretty world."

(she remains silent.)

HE - " why didnt you tell me this..do you think i wont understand this".

SHE - " no no..it's my fault..i dont know how to make you understand this."

(after a little pause she continues.)

SHE - " yes i loved him so much in my college days but

somehow he didnt like me..i tried to explain him all but

he couldnt able to feel my emotions..that is not his

wrong too.he didnt love me just as i did love him..

nobody to blame for and nobody to worry for it..

the pain is heavy and it gets deep marked when

bad things happen by fate..it was very hard to recover

from it..slowly i started to believe as if nothing had happened

to me,an intelligent way of cheating oneself and hiding

one's own feeling for the sake of mere living."

(again a little pause.)

SHE - "but today after hearing about his death

i broke down completely.. though he didnt,i loved him

sincerely.. always i wanted him to be well and good..

is it wrong,my dear?.shouldnt i care for somebody i loved.

would it be wrong to cry for someone i worried about?.

i am sorry if i had gone wrong somewhere".

(now he continues more thoughtfully)

HE - "no no..at any means it wouldnt be wrong..

how could it go wrong when you are true to

your own feeling and respect your beliefs."

SHE - "i never wanted to hide all these from you

but i didnt know how to explain you all these.

all the more i feared you wont bear it as you love me

so much and i do too.i promise i love you more than

anybody in the world."

HE - "shut up..i know that you stupid lady..you aren't

an object i possess so that somebody can take away

from me or you arent an abstract thing like truth so

that anybody can try possessing it.. you are the only

shape of all my beliefs. how could somebody take

my beliefs away from me.i wont exist then."

SHE senses the taste of his love more proudly.

SHE - "no i dont mean that..but any husband wants

his wife to love only him..the word 'possession' is a devil word.

it will kill all the emotions.it can make anybody evil."

HE - "yes.it is.but people often forget that everybody

does have heart and it has got its own kindness and compassion.

Even the most evil man has to love something in this world else he couldnt exist."

(after a little pause he continues.)

HE - "Love is all about belief my dear..how will i take things

wrong about you..A good to one cannot be a bad to another,

it might seem to be but it is really not..you can believe me

always..i maynot be a better human being as you expected

but i always try to be one such..i always love people who

loves somebody truly..i know a belief cannot be imposed

but i have no other go than to ask you..the goodness of

any man lies only in the amount of belief he gains from his lover.."

Hearing those she hugs him passionately as a sign of apology.

then the room gets dipped in its inherent silence letting

the fan to make its presence known.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Do U understand...

Asusual that apartment remained silent and peaceful
on that late night. Not many interesting things were
happening in it as people belong to the flats did rarely
come out and socialize with neighbours. Truly speaking
those flats are not of great concern here, it's only
the flat which bears number 2 in the door matters now.
Inside that flat there was a great deal of deafening silence
such that one would feel as if they have gone deaf
all of a sudden after gone passed the door inside.
Such a little world of silence was vanished in a jiffy
when a sudden sharp and loud noise of thunder
broke in to give the feel of the difference between
black and white.It was followed by a powerful flash
of lightning outside which brought the visibility of
dark clouds dashing each other like the soldiers
fighting in the warfield to result only in a crying
producing one of the two endless fountain of immortal liquid, rain.
That powerful lightning highlighted the presence of
a lonely soul in that flat. Being alone and thinking about
something seriously might seem like helping people
to solve few problems,but it could be destructive in
most of the times.For few people in particular it turns
to be an incurable as well as a lovable disease.
He was one such type of a person.

On such a lovely and evocative night with heavy rain
joining the party,a young man left alone in his flat would
have nothing to do but to think and let his mind brood
over the thoughts of his loved one. Always late night time
makes life difficult for any lovelorn person because it stirs
their calmed down emotions and evokes all those sweet memories
about their dears.
He knew what he was not suppose to do but the fateful time
and the forceful urge of his desire made him do what he himself
had refrained to for a quite span of time. He read probably for
the hundredth time in the display of his cellphone whether
the words were forceful enough to express his pent-up feelings or not..
"It has to for godsake"-He prayed to himself.
Though it was a single click of a button, it meant a lot to him
because so many times he had stopped himself to proceed
further and remained painful. but this time somehow he couldnt.
then it was all over, he had sent the message which
he believed might strike her heart and get him back
some positive replies..
He had been waiting for her for the past few years and
still he had to wait for few more minutes to see the inkling
of any improvement. Always he hesitated to wait for
something because he believed waiting sounds very
tough but he never knew it gives one enough space and
time to think and introspect his own wrong doings.
And there came a pair of mosquitoes which had been taught
only to disturb people in the night and make them not sleep.
Deftly and comfortably they found their lucky places in
his body, one in his right hand just below the dimpled elbow
and the other in his right leg. as they were known only to bite
people,they did bite him and sucked the blood.
"ssshhhh",he responded unable to bear the pain.
"why did God create this creature,they are born only
to disturb people and make them suffer.. come on mosquitoes,
leave me alone i say",he grumbled to himself thrashing both
the mosquitoes to death.
As his spate of tension died out,he looked at their carcasses
pitifully and said,"why dont you mosquitoes understand
people,if not everybody atleast this lonely dejected and
unrequitted lover.. and GOD what is wrong in giving
these creatures few brains..".
To shrug off all these,his cellphone vibrated with
a message tone and this made him all excited.but the excitement
was short-lived as he read the following reply
"See gentleman..i have warned you many times
before not to message me..i understand you love me
so deeply,but somehow i dont love you..i dont know
why?.. i cant explain it also.. few things dont happen in life
simply because they dont want to happen.. this is one such..
this is your problem and i have nothing to do with it..
i think the limit is set here..so dont even try to trouble me
again..please LEAVE ME ALONE I SAY "..
Those words made him feel heavy in his heart,especially
those three words 'LEAVE ME ALONE'. he had heard those
words before,even he had used them few times at people,
but they never lingered in his mind like this time..that too
when it came out from his loved one,it did something in him..
many things were going at his mind,"how could i trouble s
omebody i love the most,and that is not my intention too..
GOD you sound cruel when you make one to love somebody
and forget to do the rest..".
slowly he tried to digest it all.But the world around him
remained the same as another mosquito came and sat
on his finger this time..
asusual it bit him and began to suck his blood. he felt
the pain sharp and intense again but this time he
managed to be polite in his treatment by just blowing
the air on the mosquito through his mouth which seemed
just perfect to make the mosquito take its flight.
"and you mosquito, you are no different from me..
offcourse your intention is not to disturb me but
to fight for your existence..it's not that people dont
want to understand others, actually they dont have
time for it or sometimes they cant..but i will try
to understand you my dear..",
he said sensing the feeling of understanding others
for the first time in his life time. and now the
other immortal liquid( tears) just streamed out
from the brink of his eyelashes and then slowly
moved down the cheek like a drop of water moving
down the big leaf non-linearly exploiting the weakest part of it.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

another element of romance

It's around 10:30 in the night when the lively sounds of

the entire city is tapering off as everyone packs up their

things after the tiresome days work, but HE is active

enough to put his pen to the paper to finish off his

lovely tale.It's very difficult for a writer to express all

his profounding thoughts in mere words.sometimes

he has to wait till he gets the exact stream of magical

words.It is one such waiting moment for him,but it

died out in a flash when he hears that haunting voice

at his back.He couldn't continue anything than to respond to it.

SHE : Dearrr
HE : yes.
SHE : where are you. come here.
(he then moves towards the wooden bed where she lies

(sitting beside her)
HE : i am here only. it's getting late, you should sleep now.
SHE : no, somehow i don't feel like sleeping.
HE : what should i do now?
SHE : probably you can tell your girl a story.
HE : what story?
SHE : story which you love the most. maybe a romantic

story.but strictly not a sad tale.
HE : i don't know why people hate sadness,maybe

becoz it is the first feeling they emote after coming

of the mother's womb. but we often forget that sadness

speaks more truth than happiness.
SHE : let the fact be there sleeping,my philosopher.

people dont like hearing philosophy becoz they dont

seem interesting. so you tell me an enjoyable story now.
(he worries a bit not because people don't understand it

but because his loved one doesn't. But it doesnt last longer

becoz he knows love is all about sacrifice and madness. so he continues)
HE : "once there was a blind girl. she was so beautiful

that a jobless fellow fell for her. she also loved him equally.

she had a penchant of questioning about different things

to her lover. though it made him uneasy,slowly he started

liking it and was so eager to answer her."
(her face lights up with excitement as she always likes fantasy.)

HE : "one day she asked him 'what is beauty?'. he answered

'beauty cannot be seen or defined because it lies only in

the eyes of the people who look for it'. on seeing her face

going blue, he continued 'but only very few people are lucky

enough to have it in their heart and my dear you are one

among them',suddenly her face glowed with shyness,

the very female element".

SHE : no no.. this is not an appreciating answer.always men

try fooling women and escape exploiting their weakness.

this is one such act of deception.
HE : hey come on. what is wrong in praising his girl's beauty?.

any man would love to do it.
SHE : but a gentleman wouldn't. if somebody ask him something

he will better define it else will straightaway tell them 'i dont know'.
(he starts to feel uncomfortable and tries to find a way to escape from it..)

HE : probably he may not be a gentleman or so.
SHE : put his problem aside my man. you tell me 'what is beauty?'.
(he laughs.)
SHE : come on.you cant escape.
HE : shall I explain it in action.
SHE : yes,you are most welcome,Gentleman.
HE : then close your eyes and don't open it until i say.
(after few seconds,slowly she starts to feel a smooth feeling

in her heart. her mind wanted to know what is it that makes

her feel so pleasant and yes she finally got it, the dulcet fragrance of jasmine).
HE : the beauty of a flower is its sweet smell.
(Before she completely gets rid of that pleasing smell,

she begins to feel a new one. this time her mind doesn't

bother a lot,intuitively it recognizes that.

yes it is the intensity of their romance bound tightly in

a kiss on her lips.)
HE : the beauty of our romance is the taste of my kiss which

will show the same affection,care and love forever.

on top of all these, there is one more proof. open your eyes

and look at mine straight.
(looking straight at its counterpart his eyes speak the truth of

their relationship. usually one doesn't prefer to look at

somebody's eyes for a longtime becoz eyes are the heart of the truth,

it will easily exploit the falsehood.but his eyes always long to look at hers.)
HE : the most praised and blessed beauty in the world is the truth.
the truth of a night is its bare and naked darkness.
the truth of a sun is its scorching light.
the truth of our relationship is our love.
(she smiles at him with pride and love)
HE : that's why i say the beauty is in your poetic smile.
(as they start their romance, the romance of the blind girl and the boy is left abandoned.)

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

an element of romance

It is a small and lone house in that part of the hilly region.
Going inside, there is a medium-sized hall adjacent to a
small room and a kitchen and finally a simple yet
beautiful bedroom. The bedroom is dimly lit yet the
two souls sitting on the bed can be seen easily through
the light seeping out from the hall. They converse something
but it is not audible enough from the hall because it's raining
heavily outside and the sound of rain pouring down kills
the murmuring voice of the couple.Their posture and
the fading voice might sound like the discussion of a serious
problem on hearing from the hall, but going closer,
one gets a different story.
The bedroom is plain and simple, yet nothing could have
made the room so beautiful and aesthetic than the romantic
voices of the couple on that wonderful night.
SHE : What are you looking at in my face?
(he laughs)
SHE : Tell me.
HE : Nothing. Just trying to grasp what this beautiful face
trying to convey me all the time.
SHE : Dont lie my dear writer. You will be caught.
what could an ugly face tell you.
HE : I am not lying anyway. why should I lie to my wife.
moreover,why should I try to impress something that
belongs to me already.
SHE : This is the problem with the writers. They always
pep up and exaggerate a simple thing to the greatest
possible degree. Somekind of mania for you people.
(She tries to get up telling that, but he pulls her hand
and makes her sit very close to him this time)
HE : Mam hold on. Do you know one basic thing? nothing
would come out of nothing.Exaggeration is not a derogatory
word. People made it sound like that.There is no fixed definition
to beauty in this world. The beauty of any object can only be
defined by the person who sees it and...
SHE : enough enough. I am not ready to argue with you.
You people can conjure anything out of nothing. A writer is
wrost than a magician, atleast he conceals all his lies in an
entertaining way to treat people visually. But you writers
straight away call a lie true and try to prove it with nothing
to support it. you liars. You can lie to me but my mirror will
never because it doesnt except anything in return so as to impress me.
HE : hmmm
SHE : Leave all those. You tell me, where is the hidden beauty
in my face which eluded my eyes all these days.
HE : what does your mirror tell you? If you stare at it
thinking that you look ugly then your brainless and stupid
mirror will vomit and throw the same in the reflection.
that's why you should always ask me.
(she tries to leave again, but he stops her)
HE : Just hear how my heart reflect to your face and
then leave, my foolish lady.
A dark complexion which never made me feel that
i am not fair and handsome, giving me the satisfied
feeling of a perfect match,
a pair of beautiful eyes which always long to see me,
a flat nose which takes the breath of my loved one,
chubby cheeks which bore all my soulful kisses,
a pair of lips seeming tired after kissing me with romance
and chaste for years, wrinkled skin showing the fifty years
of your care and love for me, as a whole your face exemplies
the law of nature, you old woman.
If you ask ur son he will reflect in different way.
If you ask your friend they will reflect in their own way.
Dont ask the mirror, it will never tell You the truth.
It doesnt know how beautiful my wife is.
SHE hugs him and then she gives a praised kiss in his forehead overwhelmed by his love.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


It was a few centuries back when photography was only at its womb,lived an ugly draughtsman...He hated mirror to the extreme because whenever he looked at it, it only reflected his ugly external image and concealed his real beautiful self... From the childhood he had the manic depression about his bad look... So he made a strong word to himself that he would make the most beautiful and real picture in the world... From then he made many artistic as well as aesthetic drawings... Most of his drawings were born out of the nature's influence on him... Slowly he was getting rid of his depression enjoying and owning the beauty of the nature in his drawings... though he loved his drawings the most than any other thing in the world,none of them gave him the real and the complete satisfaction which he had longed for always..

on one wonderful evening he saw a girl in the streets of his home town.. She casually looked at him as one of the passers-by, but he felt like his heart stopped beating for a moment when he had his eyes straight looking at its counterpart.. That look gave him the answer he was looking for ever since he was born.. His little heart couldnt bear the exquisite beauty of her face.. the sudden visibility of her beauty did smother his heart as if the sudden unleashing of fragrance of thousands and thousands of flowers would do.. But all of those vanished in a jiffy second अस शे दीद pass him leaving the real profounding influence on him..

From then her face constantly haunted him and made him fall in love.. He started feeling like owning that beauty and loved being a failure to it.. He began to believe as if he has got somebody in the earth for him.. slowly and completely he was succumbed to her thoughts and at one stage he had lost him complete to her.. The pitiful soul enjoyed it unknowing that he was indirectly kindling and giving his calmed down depression a new life (sadness engulfs a person when he starts loving somebody more than himself)..

As days rolled by he was not normal, he also tried resorting to go away from her but he couldnt.. so one final day he decided to tell his love through a drawing of her face.. he himself reminded that he would be drawing for his own life.. But he failed to continue after the start as he didnt have the confidence to draw her face truly.. he feared that it wouldnt come real because he knew that ' if he draws it simply to impress her or to make her love him, then it would become the worst of his all drawings '.. Because as an artist he knew the basic law of the art, i.e) "Everything will get its real form only when it is rightly justified.. sometimes people might go overbroad and exceedingly love something which let that something doesnt get its real colour", (but who has the power to control the desire of the heart).. also he couldnt quantify his love to put the exact measure into the drawing.. so he gave up the idea and stayed away from her..

If somebody had told him that 'you are not fit to marry her', he would have walked upto her straight and asked her to marry him..but it was not somebodyelse but his conscience tried to tie his feelings tearing his heart out.. he hated himself for being himself.. if he couldnt own his true feeling how could he depict the nature's feelings in the art, so he had stopped drawing things..

To put an end to all these, one final day he heard that she got married to someone looking handsome than him (he knew anyone would be looking better than him) and their family had been moved somewhere.. whatelse a person could do at that stay than to hate himself...The feeling of disliking himself ran high, he couldnt end his life though because he equally loved being a draughtsman and feared 'what if God forget to gift the same in the next birth'..

He had many failures in his life before but this one had its impact deep rooted in him than ever before.. he was ready to lose anything in the life but the ownership of realizing and praising her beauty.. he strongly believed that there was nobody to do that than him.. so he refused to fling his possession over it and brooded over her thoughts all the time.. But the idyllic and serene beauty of nature which he had been praising divinely from the childhood tried to usurp the place he had given to her.. he couldnt straddle the mixed flow of those beauties.. he blamed the God for forcing him to change and adapt.. also the law of nature warned him that "any living being would meet its extinction when it refuses to adapt to the change".. But the human's madness about something (the greatest of all energies) will never give up, even it will give the strong belief of injecting life into the dead corpse (yes 'madness is the energy' if you are mad about something it will drive and give you the enormous amount of energy to achieve it)... most of all human's extreme dedication to something will give the best illusion of greatest power.. Driven by all these extremities he decided to sacrifice the greatest gift god had given him 'to sense,to draw,to see, most of all to get the soulful input for his drawings'... painfully he made himself blind not letting him to value anyother thing as he had valued her beauty.. he was then more relaxed and happy laughing over the force which had tried to defeat him..

Only after that he came to know the power of imagination and realized that a real creator doesnt need eyes to draw and see it, because an art is better felt than seen.. on one final day,filled with her thoughts in the mind ,he started drawing her face for the first time.. this time he had nobody to impress,nobody to make fall for it,nobody to question and moreover nobody to measure the quantity of love being put in it.. Though he was not able to look at it he knew it had got its real form.. for the first time he felt the beauty of an art than ever before which have him the praised satisfaction he had longed for from his childhood.. But one thing he never knew that 'the real beauty is not in her face but only hiding in his heart'.