Tuesday, April 29, 2008

an act of knitting

It's late in the night around 1'o clock when the moonlight

tries hard to penetrate the gently waving curtains which

is hanging across the transparent window. Nobody knows

why does the moonlight struggle that hard to get into

the room try passing through the curtains, maybe

because fighting its prime enemy(darkness) is the

very nature of it. however it gives a pleasant dimlight

to that little room. The room is almost drenched in the

silence except the sound of the rotating fan,even that

seems to have turned melodic and rhythmic in its

nature for the sake of the two old souls sleeping in the

bed placed right below the hanging fan.

Though the bed is not convincingly enough for

two people, they have always managed to share it,

not because they have to,simply because they love to.

also it's not their bed alone but their entire lifes for

each other except a single thing like the narrow gap

which parts their bod as they lie one at the each side

of the bed letting their backs to face each other,but
that has destined to face its dead-end as they get closer

tonight.

Yes,SHE couldnt hide it anymore as she starts to weep

bit loudly so that it beats the sound of the rotating fan

and gets its identity audible enough. on hearing it herself

she closed her mouth tightly with her hands worrying

that it might disturb her beloved husband who is well

asleep and perhaps let him know the thing which

she tries hard to hide from him forever.whatelse she

could do when she loves her husband so much.

The thing she never had answer for is bugging her

a lot this night than ever before.

"GOD what kind of a feeling is this?..please let me

sleep tonight peacefully.." she prays to THE ALMIGHTY

unable to comprehend her own sorrow completely.

Even the most cruel man in the world wouldnt remain

hard-hearted ,seeing such an old lady (at her early sixties) crying.

But her tears have the mighty power to destroy the entire world.

Suddenly she feels something easing her emotions as

she recognises a hand moving over her head smoothly and soothingly.

"Dont cry my dear.." the voice of her beloved which let her cry louder now.

"come on,i know everything..",he says it to make her not to strain more.

Now she plunges and puts her head onto his chest searching for the comfort.

HE - "dont worry my dear..such thing happens.there is nothing you could have done."

"i am extremely sorry..i think i shouldnt have cried.."-SHE says

overwhelmed by the feeling of guilty.

HE - "i dont mean that..you can cry but i cant bare seeing

my wife crying..how could an old man let his old woman

cry in this pretty world."

(she remains silent.)

HE - " why didnt you tell me this..do you think i wont understand this".

SHE - " no no..it's my fault..i dont know how to make you understand this."

(after a little pause she continues.)

SHE - " yes i loved him so much in my college days but

somehow he didnt like me..i tried to explain him all but

he couldnt able to feel my emotions..that is not his

wrong too.he didnt love me just as i did love him..

nobody to blame for and nobody to worry for it..

the pain is heavy and it gets deep marked when

bad things happen by fate..it was very hard to recover

from it..slowly i started to believe as if nothing had happened

to me,an intelligent way of cheating oneself and hiding

one's own feeling for the sake of mere living."

(again a little pause.)

SHE - "but today after hearing about his death

i broke down completely.. though he didnt,i loved him

sincerely.. always i wanted him to be well and good..

is it wrong,my dear?.shouldnt i care for somebody i loved.

would it be wrong to cry for someone i worried about?.

i am sorry if i had gone wrong somewhere".

(now he continues more thoughtfully)

HE - "no no..at any means it wouldnt be wrong..

how could it go wrong when you are true to

your own feeling and respect your beliefs."

SHE - "i never wanted to hide all these from you

but i didnt know how to explain you all these.

all the more i feared you wont bear it as you love me

so much and i do too.i promise i love you more than

anybody in the world."

HE - "shut up..i know that you stupid lady..you aren't

an object i possess so that somebody can take away

from me or you arent an abstract thing like truth so

that anybody can try possessing it.. you are the only

shape of all my beliefs. how could somebody take

my beliefs away from me.i wont exist then."

SHE senses the taste of his love more proudly.

SHE - "no i dont mean that..but any husband wants

his wife to love only him..the word 'possession' is a devil word.

it will kill all the emotions.it can make anybody evil."

HE - "yes.it is.but people often forget that everybody

does have heart and it has got its own kindness and compassion.

Even the most evil man has to love something in this world else he couldnt exist."

(after a little pause he continues.)

HE - "Love is all about belief my dear..how will i take things

wrong about you..A good to one cannot be a bad to another,

it might seem to be but it is really not..you can believe me

always..i maynot be a better human being as you expected

but i always try to be one such..i always love people who

loves somebody truly..i know a belief cannot be imposed

but i have no other go than to ask you..the goodness of

any man lies only in the amount of belief he gains from his lover.."

Hearing those she hugs him passionately as a sign of apology.

then the room gets dipped in its inherent silence letting

the fan to make its presence known.


1 comment:

«AM» said...

subtle.... touching....