To my Dear

Hi,

I know I write this letter after a long time,nearly five months
after my last one. It is not that I dont want to write You one,
but it is the foresight of your rejection that held my emotion
back all these days. But this time I have to do it,not for
the sake of my pent up feelings but for the sake of
your own existence.

Only few things have transpired in this lapse of few months.
Firstly I have slowly learned to mature myself in the spate of
successive failures. Though everyday dusks with a sense of
loneliness and depression, a sense of courage and faith dawns
on me the next morning. Secondly I am running after the
following statement to understand what it reads,
'Furious activity is no substitute for understanding',
but often forget not to run furiously.

And then as always your thoughts scrabble for a hold in
my mind, the old memories haunt me like a deep crying
sound in the mid night. I try to overcome it in vain,
not knowing that it has become the base plank of my little
wooden house. The whole process is like a fish bone stuck
in the throat, neither I can swallow it nor I can spit it out.
What would a beautiful flower do if the only woman in
the world denied it? What would a little baby do if
her mother refused to kiss it? what would I do
if you didnt embrace me?

I feel like I am denied a drop of water when a potful futilely
leaks to the ground through its crack. It looks like a jumble
which I cannot play well. Altogether My life has become like
a game where I am not given authority to take decision but
only allowed to ride on fate. The word 'fate' seems to be
the father of God 'Proteus' trying many shapes to take
You away from me. But I keep your thoughts intact to
continue the flame of desire to kiss You,my lovely Muse.
Yes I am ready to swim against the tide all along the sea
to see You in your own island with a smile.

Yours honestly,
.......

A chewing gum

(This is the conversation between two jobless people in their office.
These two doesnt require much introduction as they present
everywhere in the world waiting to taste the earth's oldest apple , Love.)

SHE : Hai, how do you do?
HE : fine. How do You do?
SHE : yeah fine , but nothing great to relish.
(She drags him into the conversation , maybe intentionally.)
HE : why?
(more a casual why)
SHE : why a why?
HE : no nothing. just like that.
SHE : just like , what?
(He senses that she kind of pushing him into a sweet-talk.)
HE : see.. Men have many reasons to concern about in this
world, but for a woman this world is an absolute gift.
Forgive me Mam, if you are the only prestigious exception to
that.
(somehow he fabricates a reason out of thin air.)
SHE : why do you say that?
HE : because it is as obvious as a bright sun , you know.
There is always somebody to look after,to ponder about ,
to pamper a woman in their liferun.
And surely they have to be grateful to men for this, you know.
SHE : Uhhhumm.
(She laughs sarcastically.)
HE : do you have Boyfriend?
(The question is simple yet it does surprise her because of its sudden appearance.)
SHE : No
(The answer comes out as fast as a rocket striking the gates of
his heart. Then follows a beautiful smile of her with a
little smell of shyness.)
HE : you should be having One. Do you know how much a boy pampers
his girl?. Girls are lucky.
SHE : And Boys are?
HE : Wise people call them fools.
(A gentle laughter breaks out.)
SHE : You know one think, these all are total rubbish.Men have this
creeping thing in their mind that they are the pitiest souls
left in this earth. Kind of syndrome i guess?
HE : is it?
(with a sarcastic grin)
SHE : but this is one of the oldest topic to discuss.
HE : I think i should surrender to the most intelligent girl of the earth, shouldn't I?.
SHE : shut up.
(a little smile followed by a little pause.)
SHE : you know when I first saw you in the office I thought you
are a calm person, sort of more introvert.
HE : then.
SHE : But actually you are not. I guess you are neither complex to
understand nor simple to observe at first sight. I think i am
right at this, dont I?
HE : Dont know,Mam. As everybody says, I do have no idea
about what I am exactly. It might sound monotonous but
that is true I guess. Maybe somebodyelse can define me in
their own observation as you did.
SHE : But that is not all too wrong.
HE : ok tell me, what do you think about a boy wearing Peter England
shirt,Pepe Jeans and a pair of Reebok shoes, I mean on a first
sight.
SHE : Maybe more fashionable.
HE : What if he wears the same pieces soaked in dirty the next day.
(she is kind of getting it.)
HE : what if he wears them for months together. Do you think he is
more funky now?.
SHE : May be not. And yes you are not.
HE : Thanks. so your observation keeps changing everytime not
jumping into any conclusion.
SHE : Well. Good try sir, but the example you have taken is not more
convincing enough.
(She sheds a ridiculous smile.)
HE : Fine. your remarks are most welcomed.
SHE : Ok. Shall we go out and have coffee.
HE : Do you really want me to come?
(He drags little hard in the cat and mouse game,yet she plays it
safe.)
SHE : No. If you dont like. You can better stay right here at office.
HE : Yeah. Even I get a little feel for the hot coffee now.
(They move to the nearby coffee shop.)
(And now they are in the coffeeshop sitting in the adjacent chairs at
the corner table. coffee cups are left abandoned in the table after
the use.)
SHE : Do You have Girlfriend?
(Now the simple question doesnt surprise him as he is expecting it
anytime.)
HE : I havent become a fool yet. (after a little pause) Well why didnt
you ask this then.
SHE : when?
HE : When I asked you about the same.
SHE : have you expected me to ask this then?
(Well now Its her turn in the game.)
HE : Not exactly. I know girls always play safer.
SHE : I dont play anything safe because i am not into any such.
HE : Do you mean girls would readily get into something which is
of no concern to them?
SHE : Maybe not. Why should they if it is of no concern to them?
HE : doesnt that sound selfish?
SHE : you tell me why should we do that?
HE : see. we have all talked about your observation of me. but you
didnt let me talk about you. Doesnt it show that you are more
safe and secure in your part?
SHE : ok let me ask you this straight. What do you think of me?
HE : What do you think? in the sense.
SHE : what does come to your mind When somebody utters my name?
HE : you are a nice girl. your actions might seem witty but they are
not actually.
SHE : What else?
HE : you are sociable. Often good in arguing. What more?
SHE : Hey are these the only things you think about a girl.
HE : To be frank. you look beautiful.
(she smiles with an attempt to hide her shyness.)
HE : You look gorgeous.
(He moves bit closer to her now. She feels uncomfortable with his
sudden change of the tone.)
HE : that too your lips are sexy and all tempting.
(He has moved still closer to her now, a little forward push will
land his lips in hers. She is all nervous caught between her minds.
And right at the very moment she decides to get up, he breaks into
a healthy laughter. yes he pulls off a real big one by his deceiving act.
Maybe one of the oldest trick in the lover's book.)
HE : yeah. i got you in a real surprise.
SHE : you mad man. i was afraid, you know.
(he giggles)
HE : i tell you one thing. Girls are real naive. I could see your
face reacting in fear and anxiety. How could you believe a man
slipping into a different mood all of a sudden? What was your
next move?
SHE : Simple. I would have given you a nice slap. you missed it.
HE : bad luck.
SHE : no problem. do you want one now?
HE : Do you believe Men shift their moods all of a sudden falling to
an exquisite beauty?
SHE : Dont know Sir.
HE : Maybe they , but i dont.
SHE : you seem to be a nice guy.
(with a gentle smile in her face.)
HE : uhhhuumm no. just like that.
SHE : shall we move.
HE : Yes. By the way i forgot to tell you.
SHE : what?
HE : that you are beautiful.
(SHE again sheds the exquisite smile.)

it's U and me

This is the message conversation between
two people through their mobiles.
A : "welcome aboard2 'sweet Dreams' airline,
All passengers on bed, hug ur pillows.As the
flight will be leaving soon 2dream land."
B : who is this?
A : i am the one you always wish to be with.
B : sorry i could not guess. and you smart that
was a good reply anyways.
A : guess who you like the most.
B : the name i should no longer spell out..
and you tell me who you are.
A : Its the same name what came to ur mind
the moment you see this message.
B : no i dont believe it.. see if you are not telling
me who you are, i am going to cut this
conversation now.
A : ok. you tell me what should i do to make you
believe it.
B : you could do nothing for i willnot believe it
forever.
A : This is crazy,man. you long for somebody
to message you. and if that somebody
messages you, you dont believe it..God,why
do you create such foolish people on earth.
B : hey..this is too much.. keep it decent..
A : ok..
B : now you prove me that you are the one
i have always wish to be with.
A : do you remember the day we first met?
B : no.
A : Dai..
B : summa.try something else.
A : ok.do you remember the first time you kissed me.
B : yes.how sweet the moment was.
A : stupid..dont stoop to it..give it a go.
B : wait i havent finished yet.i do have kissed
many sweethearts.mostly all were sweet.now you
tell me which one of those sweethearts are you.
A : and that doesnt sound very funny..
B : is it so?
A : shut up..
B : comeon..i pray God that you arent
giving it up,my sweet..
A : ok tell me, what is your new liking in
this world?
B : the feel of cold rain drop falling on a
hot street light.
A : what do you enjoy in it?
B : its paradoxical chemistry.
A : then
B : its implication of the love between me
and my dear. and you still lose.
A : ok.what does haunt you more in this world?
B : a vast desert.
A : what do you fear in it?
B : its calmness.
A : whatelse
B : its solitude
A : then
B : its implication of a vacuum in a man's life
when he misses his loved one.
A : who do you miss?
B : i miss many in this world.
A : shut up. tell me who do you miss the most.
B : its you who i have always wish to be with.
A : i love you dear.
B : i miss you.
A : i will be back in two days. take care.
B : take care.bye.
A : "welcome aboard2 'sweet Dreams' airline,
All passengers on bed, hug ur pillows.As
the flight will be leaving soon 2dream land."

Philadelphia - review

This is the review of one of my favourite movies,
PHILADELPHIA. usually i am not comfortable
reviewing a movie. Formerly i had the practice
of commenting on any movie i get to see,
but later on i felt it wasnt just right,
because i began to have a belief that
one can review a movie only when he
ables to respect and love the same.
so here i am very proud to review this movie
as i always love it.
PHILADELPHIA
Director - Jonathan Demme
Actors - Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington
Music Director - Bruce Springsteen
The movie starts with Tom Hanks working
as a lawyer in a conservative law firm. Then
it immediately slips to get revolved around
the main theme, as Tom Hanks gets to know
that he has been affected by the deadly disease AIDS.
And this costs his job as he has been fired on
the pretext of misplacing an important
document.
Though succumbing to AIDS
Tom Hanks couldnt able to let himself accept
this, for he feels that he doesnt deserve such a
bad and wrong treatment for serving his
client so consistently. moreover he had
always loved his job. so he seeks a
representation to sue the firm. And from
this point the screenplay and the depiction
takes everyone along to the place where
one's conscience haunts itself.
Then comes the entry of Denzel Washington,
a homophobic lawyer.Initially he refuses
to represent Tom but slowly he begins
to listen his scruple's call. There is this scene
to be named the best in the movie, where
in a library Denzel lets his conscience drag him
into the case slowly and steadily yet strong
emotionally.
Then the court scenes where the case arguments
start meandering around initially, but
suddenly it gets veered onto the
main subject as Denzel stikes the dart
to the spot where the movie reveals
the blackness of the human nature
(ie their sexual orientation,selfishness,hatred
towards people,etc) peeling the flimsy clad
of human's sheer hypocrisy. And this
transformation of the case metaphorically
represents the personal transformation
of a common man's(Danzel's) approach
towards the social outcasts.
The scene where Tom Hanks explains
the court how he loves the law is the
extreme point where the case gets riveted
to its seriuosness and that explains why
a dying man fights all the way with a case.
Then finally Denzel goes on to win
the case for Tom Hanks.
The highlights of the movie are its theme
and the narration which challenge to strike
the chord of any type of audience. And too this
movie was made in 1993 when the fear of AIDS
was spreading at a rampant speed.
Another speciality of the movie is
the performance of Tom Hanks and
his characterization. it really takes guts
to perform the role of a gay. i think it's much
more than an oscar-worth. There are
so many scenes where he is simply
extraordinary especially the scene where he
meets Denzel in his office for the representation
and the scene in the library where he happens to
remain as an outcast in everyone's attention.
And then Denzel Washington, i wonder how he
handles such a character with ease, particularly
all the court scenes.
Finally both the song and the background
music of the movie are too good that it
had won the oscar.
The movie might seem slow at its pace
but it has so much to see in it.To watch a
movie of this type might take one enough
patience and love towards the cinema.
a great movie filled with many colours of life.

a piece of madness

It was a small room,to be exact,a bathroom..
Unlike the other rooms, the pitiful bathrooms
cant except a great decoration than the
much needed cleanliness..also it is been visited
only when people are forced to naturally..
But that little one was bit lucky that moment,
not because it had got a decent look but
because more emotion was being filled in it..
That moment was extremely strange and new
to it, to be true it couldnt able react to it..
If it had a mouth it would have cried loudly,
if it had eyes those would have been filled with
tears.. But how could a bathroom can have all
those,so it remained silently hiding all those
happened that instant.. If killing a human being
is a murder,then killing ones own feelings is
also the same..
Yes an emotional murder began to take its shape
when the forceful stream of water hit the cervical
nerves of his neck part..The chillness of the
tape water went down the spinal cord disturbing
the entire emotional setup of his mind..His eyes
began to deluge with tears but the traces were
wiped down by the continuous flow of water..
The purity of the water at the tape's mouth was
no more when it reached the floor after
tumbling down allover his toned psyche, as it was
blend with pain,love,deceit,pride..The warmth of the
60 Watts incandescent bulb soothed him a little
but certainly not countering the damn coldness of
the water during that fierce winter night..Then
his body started to shiver badly as his teeth
clattered in the cold..He felt the difficulty of
his entire life that moment..He preferred to die
rather than experiencing such a murderous moment
if killing himself had promised him to earn the
due pride for sure..
Yes that moment was so cruel that too when
his hormones started to play its trick more
ruthlessly..The time people have to understand
biology more than settling down to their
emotional possession.. But few people always
prefer to fight the nature for no reason, why?
maybe they feel it more faithful to put a fight with
or else they might find it a way of testing their
own character.. whatever it is, he was one such
who was ready to give it a go whenever his love
was threatened by the nature.. he had failed to it
many times,even he knew he had to live with it
forever yet he couldnt console himself to stoop to it..
Mad people,they never mind that eventually they
have to fail.. why do they do this still,maybe
they are excepting the great dawn one day,
maybe they find everybody as mad going after
something invaluable..But what did he feel then?
yes then he was more fragile unable to
withstand the cold yet had the last laugh , then
covered his body with the warm towel..poor man
strained himself for no cause but to him it meant
a lot as he was all overwhelmed of his temporary
victory..but that pride moment forgot to make
him realize that it will come back more strongly again..

It's between X and Y

X : why did you try that?
Y : Don't know.(more stubbornly)
X : what do you meanby you dont know..
i know you are the only person responsible for it.
Y : so.. what do you want me to do now..
you want to punish me.
X : no..i want you to tell me why did you do that.
(Y sheds a wistful smile..)
X : what does that mean?.
Y : it means that i dont like to..
it means that i dont believe you..
it means all my hatred of things.
X : calm down,man..dont try to sound like
you had done nothing wrong..
Y : hey what did i do..(with a pinch of surprise).
X : what did i do then.
Y : shut up..never say that to me..
you screwed up all my things..
X : come on,my loser..this isnt fair..
dont curse me with the blames..
you can blame yourself instead blaming me,
that would be more appropriate..
(after a little span of silence..now the anger
slowly starts to die out for y while the feeling
of guilty and the longing for love try
to occupy his mind.)
Y : yes i did that to myself.
X : why?
Y : i dont know really..every now and then
i lose myself in an inarticulate sounds of panic
Which drives me to the hell.
X : what is that that worries you so much.
Y : not one.there are many such.
X : why dont you share all those with me.
Y : i dont feel like sharing it to anyone..becoz
people dont understand people.
To be precise most of them cant.
X : do you think i willnot understand you?.
(a voice drenched in love and pity)
Y : yes,my Lord,i dont have energy to believe
anything more.
X : why?
Y : becoz i believed so many things in my life.
i could never differentiate good and the bad,
they seem to be the same most of the times.
(after a little pause)
Y : i dont get why doesnt a bad thing look like
what it has to look like.At the sametime
why doesnt a good thing get its visibility
what it has to. Its always the few darker spots
which attract and draw my attention quickly
than the white ones. Though I work hard
to keep myself away from them they keep
coming at me. If something is bad why it has
got all the attracting and deceiving allure.
it does seem like living is a curse.
X : living is not a curse ,it is a gift not
only for humans but for all living things.
Y : i do believe things would be finer tomorrow
but that much-awaited dawn never
arrives. i find my life going tough.
i fear that eventually i would get
swallowed by the painful failures.
X : so you mean that you fall down often
and that hurts you.
Y : no..its still worse my dear.i fall down
when i try to recover from the one.
X : why shouldnt you believe the failures?.
Y : how could one believe a failure when
it is dreadful and sore.a failure is just a failure ,
there is no replacement for it.
X : but one thing people dont understand is that
'a failure speaks more truth than a victory'.
Failure prevails everywhere in the world,
right from a little girl who cries for her
melted down icecream to the old man who
grieves on his wife's death.they do gain
something from it and move forward in the life.
Y : probably yes they do,but i find it difficult.
how could an engine run without fuel.
i am drained out of energy,my love.
X : come on young man.dont lose your belief.
Belief means a lot more than what it seems
like.Believe that failures would vanish
tomorrow.
Y : yes it will..but how can i explain you that
today's pain is unbearable.
X : i know, it is very hard to bear but that is
how a good man is born out of his own characters.
Dont you know that 'Fighting is the best attitude
one has to possess ever in his life time'.
Y : yes i do know it..but i fear to fight in a
losing side.
X : Nobody is going to lose any thing,my dear.
you have to understand that this is the time
you can see your real self.All the great
fighters of the world were born out only
when they had to test their own strength
and courage.I know you are one of the them.
so the best way of living in this world is to
accept the truth and fight it regardless of
how bitter and cruel the truth tastes.THE SUN
might be scorching and severe but we have to love it
because it reflects the truth..
(now the feeling of pride and belief overwhelms Y
giving him the much needed hope to live..)
X : please believe me,dear,i am there always with you..
Yes X (scruple) could go nowhere away from Y
else they couldnt form XY to create a man.
This is one of the conversation that breaks out
between a common man's X and Y when
he searches for a whiff of fresh air to breath out
as his unending failures smother him and let him
escape through no corner,eventually making him
to fail in everything even in throwing away his own life.

it's DARK

Yes it is completely dark in the no-moon night as
it is two hours past the sunset and the grandeur
of lightlessness characterised everypart of the
surroundings. There is a great speciality with
darkness,unlike the light,it does not reflect or
expose itself differently with the nature of the
objects it falls on.It has only one language for all
ie) darkening. You can be rich,powerful,beautiful
but nothing could seduce the darkness, eventually
you become physically nil.
with one such powerful and determinant
blackness deluging the night, these two
beautiful mortals begin to talk as they ever do.
But it's more special tonight as it is totally dark
with the absence of stars and moonlight.
HE : ohhhh beloved,could you see the darkness.
(says a sharp and powerful voice drenched in
the scent of care and love)
SHE : yesssss.
(says a cute voice yet in a tired tone.)
HE : how big it is?
SHE : It's sooooo large.i couldnt quantify it as
i ever see it. maybe as big as it can be.
HE : that big is my love towards you,dear.
(suddenly she laughs with the joy because she
never expected such an elucidating answer which
seems too close to her heart.)
HE : do you get it? darling.
SHE : yess dad i am getting it.
(she acknowledges with a little smile in her face
and a bigger one in her heart..)
HE : ok..now you tell me, how much you love me?
(She thinks for a jiffy and then kisses him on
his gaunt cheek.)
SHE : how sweet is this?,darling.
(she says it as tricky as it ever can be.)
HE : ohhhh.my dear.i am pitifully defeated and
you win hands down asusual.
(she giggles childishly.there is nothing in the
world that could match the beauty of her smile..
It has all the magics bound with it.HE just
loves it not just now but forever,the one and
only thing he wants in this vicious world.)
HE : ok,now it's time.does Clara have anything
to ask her daddy today.
(she remains silent.)
HE : yes. no. it's strange to see my little daughter
keeping her mouth tight-lipped.
(yes it's strange to him, no no,to be true it's very
difficult for him.Yes people do feel difficult when
THE ONE they love the most dont talk to them,
especially when they have to or when they are
expected to.It's always she who nags and queries
him with the one picked from her own world of
questions. Mostly the questions would be either
funny or too difficult to explain to a little soul,
but he never tries to evade from it, somehow he
tries and puts it in such a way that she gets
convinced with it finally. but today unusually
she remains silent.)
HE : ohh God, what a surprise, all of a sudden
you made my little daughter dumb.
how could that be possible?. i think you and
my sweety try to play a trick on me.
SHE : Dadddd
(she whines.)
SHE : then tell me,what happened in the
school today?
(he feels her trying hard to keep her mouth
shut. though not good,it is always a beautiful
sight to see the expressive face of a little kid
evincing the anger with her lips pouting out
of annoyance and her hands rubbing the eyes
demanding it to get deluged with the
deceiving tears.but here he misses it in the
complete lightlessness.)
HE : if you dont talk to DAD whoelse will
talk to me,Darling. comeon open your mouth.
SHE : she only said that.
(she says with a grumbling voice..)
HE : said what?
SHE : that i am not intelligent.
(Instead laughing at the unworldliness of
her daughter, he tries to be more thoughtful
because he knows that it does mean a lot to
her as she always wants to be a pretty and
witty girl,moreover that's how he has always
wished her to be.)
HE : who said that? tell me what exactly
happened in the school today.
(then she begins telling it bit irritatingly.
she has different ways of telling things to
different people. It's more tricky towards
her friends and more clever towards
her teachers but always truth and exactitude
towards her father because she expected
only love from him but none.)
SHE : asusual she began to tell the story
in the morning. she said 'there was
a little boy with his ugly looks'. then i
questioned her 'what do you mean by ugly?'.
she remained silent for few seconds and
then retorted as 'probably you cannot
understand it'.i asked her 'why?' but she
replied angrily 'because you are too little and
not intelligent enough'.
(a little silence.he does find very hard to
excuse the teacher as he feels the teacher
quite evasive and incapable to deal
with things.)
SHE : is she right dad. am i not intelligent?.
will i not understand things.
HE : no dear.you are the most intelligent
girl i have ever seen on this earth.but she is
partly correct. yes nobody could
understand the word 'ugly', because
the word literally doesnt exist in the world.
SHE : i dont understand dad.
(that voice with the tone of discouragement
does him something and makes him
desperate to make her clear.)
HE : actually there is nothing like ugly
in the world. Instead good people use
a different word called 'DIFFERENT'.
Everything is simply different not ugly.
It's all about you like it or dont like it.
supposedly if somebody comes and
tells you that 'your daddy is bad,ugly
and certainly nobody would love him.',
will you accept it?
SHE : no.
HE : why.
SHE : because i love my daddy so much
and he loves me too.
HE : and that is how things work out.
you love your daddy, you feel him good
and lovely. They don't like your daddy,
they find him bad and ugly.
SHE : but then why do they hate my daddy.
HE : probably because they dont
understand him.
SHE : if i could understand my dad,
why cant they?.
(This is really tough for him to encounter
as he is not prepared for this one.to be true
even he doesnt know the answer but
somehow he wants to finish it
in positive note.)
HE : Because it's dark everywhere my dear,
people find difficult to grope the reality of
the life in the damn naked darkness.But you
have a great magic to find and feel
the truths of life very easily. you can
understand people because you only
feel them. And that very element of
understanding humans better is
the pinnacle of intelligence,
the point of better civilization,etc.
We have been learning a lot over
the years only to understand people
better and to find the real facts out of
this fancy world. that's why i told you
that you are the most intelligent girl
of the earth.
HE : are you getting it?
SHE : yess.Dad
HE : so tomorrow you go and tell
your teacher that you are intelligent
enough to understand things better.
and dont forget to tell it with
all pride and joy.
(Though she couldnt comprehend
everything he said, she enjoys herself
winning the intelligent contest over
her teacher.)
HE : Clara. shall we have dinner as
it's getting late and you have to sleep.
SHE : ok dad.
HE : wait a minute,darling.i go light up
the candle.
be there where you are.
SHE : so you didnt do it before..why?
HE : i just want to feel the darkness which
my sweetheart feels forever.

Now the whole gamut of darkness fails to a
small lit candle like the entire world of truth
being challenged by few fake vices,
exposing two faces, one little cute and glowing,
the other gaunt and severely burnt in
a freaky fire accident.